SPIRIT Journey: Trust

Oh boy, this is a BIG one! 

It all starts the minute we’re born. And it ebbs and flows as we move through Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs in life.

Base level of Maslow’s Hierarchy = are our basic physiological needs being met? Food, water, shelter, clothing, rest…

As children, if we are left to cry when we are hungry or there simply isn’t enough food available to eat, what does that teach us about trusting the adult who is supposed to help meet our needs?

Next level of Maslow’s = are our basic safety and security needs being met? 

Do we feel safe physically, emotionally and psychologically? As we are learning our way in the world, how do others support us? Do they guide, encourage and celebrate our efforts or do they use guilt, shame and physical punishment as a method to control us?

We learn and develop trust through our experiences in the world
...good and bad.

That means all our experiences with people, places and things…ALL the nouns.

PLUS the actions that go with the nouns.

Then comes all the feelings and emotions, the adjectives and adverbs, that describe our experiences and create the memories and the stories that we associate with those experiences.

 

Good experiences = good feelings, memories and stories (and therefore, I should trust them?)

Bad experiences = bad feelings, memories and stories (and therefore, I shouldn’t trust them?)

(note that when it is a REALLY bad experience = trauma, which is a whole other topic to explore. I just want to mention here that there is a lot of attention on the trauma sensitive classroom these days, and with reason. Again, to be explored more at another time).

 

So, maybe instead of looking at trust as something that is developed through good and bad experiences, such as a good experience means I can trust the person or what has happened and a bad experience means I can’t trust the person or what has happened, maybe we can explore trust in another way.

Perhaps we can look at trust as a contract that is established

 between the two parties involved: 

the first party who has the needs and 

the second party who is meeting the needs of the first party.

 

Sounds so legal and not my usual heart-centered, emotional, Vagus-nerve flowing approach, no?

Stay with me here as we explore this a little more. Or should I say, trust me?  (more…)

SPIRIT Journey: Introspection

When I was deciding on what concepts each letter of SPIRIT would represent, I considered “reflection” as one for the “R”. However, the more I pondered my experience on the Camino and the lessons I had learned in life, the more I realized that reflection was not enough. There was a deeper learning; a deeper journey; a deeper knowing.

So, like any teacher, who is also a lifelong learner, I did some research. I also asked some friends what they thought about their learning journeys. This is what I discovered.

Some people use the terms self-awareness, self-reflection and introspection interchangeably. There has been a lot of research done on all three, and it has been determined that they are really not the same. My personal and professional experiences tell me they are not the same either.

According to Positive Psychology, 

     “Self-reflection is one’s ability to willingly examine one’s thought and feelings and reflect on what they mean”.

     “Introspection is the examination of one’s own conscious thoughts and feelings”.

     “Self-awareness is the achievement of practicing self-reflection and the exercise of introspection.”

Clear as mud, right?  Stay with me here because it is a process that, when understood, leads to a more spiritual and fulfilling path to peace and bliss. Also, it is one of the greatest lessons I have learned in life. (more…)

SPIRIT Journey: Reality

“Reality” means “the quality of being real.” It is also defined as “sincerity”.

REAL  has its roots in Latin, from “res” meaning “thing”.  Then, in the early 14c., “actually existing, true;” mid-15c., “relating to things”.   

“Real” meaning “genuine” is recorded from the 1550s, and today, we use it to mean “authentic”, like when we say “are you for real?” 

We also use “real” to emphasize the significance of something, like when we say something is a real problem or a real pain in the…well, you get the picture! 

Perhaps, in summary, I could say that 
to be REAL means to be AUTHENTIC, TRUE and SIGNIFICANT.

I spent my entire teaching career trying to make learning for students real and meaningful, full of purpose and connections to the real world and relating everything to their personal worlds and how that fit into the bigger picture of humanity. 

Years of research and personal experience taught me that if students don’t see a “REAL reason to learn this stuff”, then, they will not own it. It just becomes part of a virtual reality. I think that is what is going on right now with online learning. It doesn’t feel or seem like “real school”, but even more so, what they are being asked to “learn” is rote, prescribed, computer-generated, impersonal and disconnected…not real.  

The same is true for teachers. Teaching has become so prescribed and scripted that most teachers don’t REALly understand what they are supposed to be teaching or what the students are REALly supposed to be learning. 

What is important, significant and meaningful for students to learn in school? 
What is for real, and what is just for a test? 
What are we teaching them about being kind and loving human beings? 
Where are the connections and the community?

(more…)

SPIRIT Journey: PURPOSE

The use of the word “purpose” has come to be used and explored in bigger philosophical terms such as “What is my purpose in life? Who am I?, and why am I here?”  These are big life questions. 

We tend to think of purpose in terms of an “end” goal 
or the reason why we do something.
 Reflecting on purpose can give us direction and meaning 
in our lives to attain those goals. 

According to the dictionary, the definition of purpose is “the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists”.

The origin of the word purpose is “intention, aim, goal,” from Anglo-French purpos, from porposer “to put forth,” from por– “forth” (from Latin) + Old French poser “to put, place”. (etymonline.com)

Research has shown that, when asked “what is your goal in life?”, most people answer “to be happy”. When asked, “what does that look like?”, they might give a list of material things acquired, accomplishments, titles, superlatives, accolades, etc. to be checked off.

Too often we get lost in a checklist of things to do and get caught up in a whirlwind of striving for one goal after another. We focus more on purpose as defined by goals. We begin to believe that our purpose in life is equivalent to our accomplishments, things we accumulate, titles we acquire, status that we achieve or bucket list experiences that we check off. This path will surely lead to happiness, right?

The educational system helps to propagate this illusion that if we just achieve a certain score, get a certain grade, receive a certain accolade or award, go to a certain university, pursue a certain career or status, we will be successful and, therefore, happy.

Our purpose, our goals, our reasons for doing anything 
have become formulaic and prescriptive. 

So, if there is a formula that we can follow, and a prescription we can take, why do so many people feel lost, unhappy and not clearly see their purpose on Earth?

Why are so many teachers and students disillusioned and not fulfilled with school and learning and the checklists that are being placed before them? (more…)